I once had a babysitter kicked her out and locked the handle
I once had a piano teacher but I threw her in the piano
I once had a pilot made him parachute with the attendants
Now I'm half as good and twice as screwed because I'm independent
I once had a swimming coach and I wrapped seaweed on his leg
Now I can't swim anywhere without my handy orange vest
I once had a stylist, beat him with a weighted scarf
Now I look just like a mess
But my fans all think it's art
I once had a manager and yeah I almost made it final
Tore his contract up and beat him up with his platinum vinyls
I once had a counselor until I left to go to college
Now I don't know how to do a thing because I never call him no
I once had a babysitter kicked her out and locked the handle
I once had a piano teacher but I threw her in the piano
I once had a pilot made him parachute with the attendants
Now I'm half as good and twice as screwed because I'm independent
I once had a babysitter kicked her out and locked the handle
I once had a piano teacher but I threw her in the piano
I once had a pilot made him parachute with the attendants
Now I'm half as good and twice as screwed because I'm independent
I went to see a therapist
To help me get along
But when he tried to help me
All that I could hear was "I'm wrong, I'm wrong" and I didn't like that
I once had a dog I didn't feed him but he didn't care
Cos he cooks for us both and he also cut my hair
And my girl said she had to let me go
Tried to tell her I had everything all under control but I don't
No I don't
But I hope you think I do
Yeah I hope you think I do
Yeah
I once had a babysitter kicked her out and locked the handle
I once had a piano teacher but I threw her in the piano
I once had a pilot made him parachute with the attendants
Now I'm half as good and twice as screwed because I'm independent
I once had a babysitter kicked her out and locked the handle
I once had a piano teacher but I threw her in the piano
I once had a pilot made him parachute with the attendants
Now I'm half as good and twice as screwed because I'm independent
Imma call my babysitter she can come over this Sunday
Imma open up the piano tell my teacher I start Monday
Imma call the pilot up he'll teach me how to stick the landing
Cos my life is so much better when they help me understand it
