she's never alone, because she's scared of what she might say to herself always drinking in the backroom of the bar where everyone turns in a half-hearted grin she won't be afraid as long as that prescription keeps going through and all the happy pills make her look like cardboard cut out of someone, a use to learn from but on the phone, she's telling everyone, that there was a blue sky, she left behind and there's a place that no one knows about, away from integrity she writes a book in her head that nobody will read whatever you say, please don't talk about the time when she was young apparently that was a different person and so long ago it's strange to me, there's no history but there's a past and she's telling everyone it must be a garden, that wouldn't grow with roots of shame, too sensitive to blame to herself as we watch he drown, i can't save the queen without a kingdom or a crown somewhere in this lonely game of sympathy there is a selfish dream that makes me sick standing on the high wire while you're on the ground to you what is dangerous is safe and sound...you let me down