I got to Kansas City on a Frid'y
By Sattidy I larned a thing or two
For up to then I didn't have an idy
Of what the modern world was comin' to
I counted twenty gas buggies goin' by theirsel's
Almost every time I took a walk
'Nen I put my ear to a Bell Telephone
And a strange woman started in to talk
Say you?
What next?
Yeah what?
Everythin's up to date in Kansas City
They've gone about as fur as they can go
They went and built a skyscraper seven stories high
About as high as a buildin' orta grow
Everythin's like a dream in Kansas City
It's better than a magic lantern show
Y' can turn the radiator on
Whenever you want some heat
With every kind of comfort
Every house is all complete
You can walk to privies in the rain and never wet your feet
They've gone about as fur as they can go
Yes, sir!
They've gone about as fur as they can go
Everythin's up to date in Kansas City
They've gone about as fur as they can go!
They got a big theater they call a burleycue
For fifty cents you can see a dandy show
One of the gals was fat and pink and pretty
As round above as she was round below
I could swear that she was padded
From her shoulder to her heel
But later in the second act when she began to peel
She proved that everything she had was absolutely real
She went about as fur as she could go
Yes, sir!
She went about as fur as she could go
