I heard there is no Christmas
In the silly Middle East
No trees, no snow, no Santa Claus
They have different religious beliefs
They believe in Muhammad
And not in our holiday
And so every December
I go to the Middle East and say
Hey there Mr. Muslim
Merry f**king Christmas
Put down that book the Koran
And hear some holiday wishes
In case you haven't noticed
It's Jesus's birthday
So get off your heathen Muslim ass
And f**king celebrate
There is no holiday season in India I've heard
They don't hang up their stockings
And that is just absurd!
They've never read a Christmas story
They don't know what Rudolph is about
And that is why in December
I'll go to India and shout
Hey there Mr. Hinduist
Merry f**king Christmas
Drink eggnog and eat some beef
And pass it to the missus
In case you haven't noticed
It's Jesus's birthday
So get off your heathen Hindu ass
And f**king celebrate!
Now I heard that in Japan
Everyone just lives in sin
They pray to several gods
And put needles in their skin
On December 25th
All they do is eat a cake
And that is why I go to Japan
And walk around and say
Hey there Mr. Shintoist
Merry f**king Christmas
God is going to kick your ass
You infidelic pagan scum
In caseb you haven't noticed
There's festive things to do
So lets all rejoice for Jesus
And Merry f**king Christmas to you
On Christmas day I travel 'round the world and say
Taoists, Krishnas, Buddhists, and all you atheists too
Merry f**king Christmas, to you!
